Day 35:

Today we went to Chartwell, home of Winston Churchill. It was fantastic. Not only were the grounds incredible - lots of lawn area, a pond, gardens, and a spectacular view - but the house was wonderful. It was gorgeous, one of the first places I'd actually enjoy living in. It was elegant, yet cozy, and the home was filled with things that really belonged to the Churchills. Winston was a brilliant man and the home is full of books. He was also a painter in his spare time and each room is filled with his beautiful landscape paintings. We watched a movie about him last night called "The Gathering Storm" and it really helped bring his personality to light. Some of it was filmed at Chartwell and it made seeing the house extra meaningful.

Chartwell - its bigger than it looks

Believe it or not, this is a giant rhubarb plant.

View from the padio. In the movie, he pulls his wife out here, has her look out at the view of England, and explains why he is so dedicated to his country.

We ate lunch out on the grounds. Once again, we lucked out with the PERFECT weather.

Next we went to Hever Palace, the home of Anne Boleyn before she married Henry VIII. It had mostly been renovated when the Astors (a very wealthy family who opened a couple of ritzy hotels) bought, renovated, and added on to the palace and surrounding land. There was a lot of historical information though, and I was one of the very last to leave the castle as I got caught up reading about Anne Boleyn, her sister, and the other of Henry's wives. It was a gorgeous castle and if modernized, it would have been a fancy place to live. It also had a lot of beautiful gardens, a lake, a children's water maze, a maze in the hedges, and plenty of places to stop and purchase ice-cream. My professor called it the theme-park version of a historical site (although that's an overstatement). It was beautiful though and I'm so glad we went.

Mitzy, Me, and Mollie in front of Hever Palace

The Drawbridge. Yes, this castle came equipped with a mote!

Fancy padio at the edge of the gardens, overlooking the lake.

No comment.

The Italian Gardens

Cool walkway... it reminds me of Laura's chicken picture.

Last thoughts... I promised myself I'd be in bed by midnight tonight. Oops. I am trying so hard to keep up/get ahead with homework but somehow I feel like up just doggy-paddling to keep my head above water. But its ok, that's just how school goes. However, I do have to admit that the word of the day has been "discouraging". Allow me to explain.

1. Homework. As I said, there is so much to do and so little time. I have been putting a lot of effort the past couple days into 2 political science papers. I had my professor read them today and he said they were ok (high B) but gave me some suggestions on how to improve it. I really want to get an A in this class, so I did a whole bunch of resarch for both papers and rewrote one (I'll do the other tomorrow). I just have this gut feeling, though, that when I have him look at these ones they still won't be up to par. That is discouraging.

2. As these thoughts of how I'm struggling to do well in school are going through my head, we go to Chartwell and see all the accomplishments of Winston Churchill. Think of his contributions as Prime Minister, etc. Now picture rooms and rooms full of books that you know he has read and studied. Now consider that he's written at least 20 books, and hefty, smart books at that. Add to this that he was quite an impressive artist and has multiple paintings hanging in every single room of his large house. How did he do it all? That is discouraging.

3. As we walk through Chartwell, I happen to be behind my professors who are carrying on in-depth conversations about Churchill and his contributions and about all the battles of World War II and about all his awards. Then at Hever Palace I end up behind them again. They seem to know everything there is to know about the monarchy, the royal lines, and about Henry VIII and his mistresses. The cherry on top (in a negative way) was when I asked Jacob Benfell, the professor's 14-year-old son, to tell me everything he knew about Anne Boleyn. He said he didn't really know anything, then spent three minutes rattling off facts about her. THAT is discouraging.

4. I love being here and have made some excellent friends, but today I just had that feeling of being so alone. It's one thing to have friends and another thing to have friends that bring out the best you. I haven't found those friends yet. I feel like there are so many little cliques, not exclusive cliques, but just natural groupings. I love all the students individually and have fun talking to them in small groups or one-on-one, but the truth is, I have no interest in falling into one of these cliques. I don't think the genuine me comes out around them. I'm sick of laughing at things I don't find funny or listening to drama, fashion, music conversations or feeling obligated to take a strong opinion on subjects I don't really care about. I know this is negative, but I just want to be REAL. I miss my friends. That is discouraging.

BUT, now after all this discouraging talk, I should say that I did have a thought that was rather insipiring. I realized that as frustrating as school can be, I really do WANT to do well. I WANT to learn and so regardless of how much effort it takes, I'm going to keep trying my best, and I'll try to do it with a better attitude. I'm so lucky that I get to be here studying and learning with a wonderful school like BYU. I take that for granted too often and I need to remember that all good things come at a cost.